Category: Personal Stories

Defining What it Means to be Trans: From Fear to Myself

By Shelby Faulkner
Art by Maddy Best

The definition of the word transgender has changed many times throughout my life. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines “transgender” as a person whose gender identity is opposite to the sex identified at birth. But that’s not what it means to be trans—not really. Sometimes it means fear, self-hatred, and so many other unpleasant feelings. Sometimes it means learning that on the other side of anxiety and fear, you often find love and joy.

Although I didn’t have words for it at the time, I first started to realize I was trans around the 6th grade. Growing up in a small town I didn’t have a lot of exposure to queer people. In my town the word “gay” was used as an insult rather than an adjective—and in elementary school, kids used to ask if anyone wanted to play “smear the queer” as a recess game. Occasionally, the word “he-she” would get thrown around too. On Sundays, we would go to church, and sometimes they would preach about how homosexuals would burn in eternal hellfire because they were living in sin. Being trans means learning to hide.

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Learning to Heal from Heartbreak in Blindsided, a Time Travel Novel About Lessons from Your Past Self

By Stephanie Carey
Photos by Travis Young

What if you could sit down with your younger self? What would you say? What warnings would you give? After an agonizing break-up, I found myself wishing I could do just that—give myself all the wisdom I learned the hard way. Since time travel gummies don’t exist, I did the next best thing: I wrote a novel about it. 

Writing this story was a personal journey of distraction and healing after a rough breakup. Yes, I, a 46-year-old woman who has been married and divorced twice, found myself boo-hooing over a man I wasn’t even married to. I did not have “monumental heartbreak” on my 2024 BINGO card, but that’s where I found myself in March of last year. I honestly dismissed the validity of “just dating” breakups, thinking I had my battle scars from two divorces. Nothing could touch me. 

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Good Grief

Good Grief

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Mourning and moving on after cutting off an abusive parent.

By Ashley Carey
Art by Maddy Best

CW: Mention of domestic abuse by a parent and childhood trauma.

This is for every person whose parent(s) did not love them in a way a parent is supposed to. For those of you who had a “parent” who was a charming narcissist or abuser or just plain toxic, I see you. And you deserve a life filled only with the people who can appreciate all that you are.

It’s a deeply strange experience to grieve the living. Much like any other form of grief, it’s also quite lonely, though in a profoundly different way.

So much has been written and understood about grieving those we’ve loved and lost. It’s certainly not an easy thing to do, which is why I believe so many people avoid grieving once the funeral dies down (woof that pun was terrible. I’m kind of a walking dad joke despite not having a dad. SICK BURN, DAD).

Grieving someone who is alive is super weird, and mercifully is something many people don’t seem to understand.

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Why is Taylor Swift so popular? The karmic genius that led to her success.

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Taylor Swift’s 11th studio album, “The Tortured Poets Department,”  announcement at the 2024 Grammy Awards is cosmic-level for this Swiftie.

By Emily Laptad

CW: Mention of domestic abuse/violence, complex trauma, and childhood trauma.

On October 22, 2022, I woke up to listen to the bonus tracks on Taylor Swift’s tenth studio album, Midnights (3am Edition). It was a spiritual experience that nudged my personal life story in a direction I never saw coming when the lyrics, “Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first,” crooned through my earbuds as I listened to “Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve” for the first time.

So, it’s fitting that it’s 3 a.m. now as I try to weave together the words to illustrate just how much the historical popstar, musical mastermind, and 14-time Grammy Award Winner means to me—and so many other Swifties too. This particular editorial has been in the making for over a year now, and after tossing and turning over the shear dismay that Taylor blindsided the Swifties with a brand new album, The Tortured Poets Department, that’s coming out on April 19 (we all thought we were getting reputation (Taylor’s Version) instead) now felt like a better time than ever.

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How Lewis Capaldi Made Me Feel Less Alone in My Mental Health Journey

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By Erin Gabriel

My sister has the biggest crush on Lewis Capaldi, the Scottish singer-songwriter who first gained attention in 2017 with his debut single and viral hit Bruises. If you’ve been living under a rock and don’t know who he is (I am speaking to my 30-something millennial cousins who had no idea who he was) here is a photo for reference:

Sex icon, amiright? At this point, my sister would quote the viral TikTok sound, “That’s mine. I’ma stick beside him.” Anywho, I regress…

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