SOUP: The Fragility of Growth

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By Jen Harris

CW: C-PTSD, trauma

What happens when you “walk through something” in life? When people speak of being glad to be “on the other side” of that time of sorrow, grief, suffering; what do they mean?

I have always wondered what they mean, especially when I witness firsthand (and am totally freaked out by) their inner glow. A healed person, a person who has done the work possesses an uncontainable, undeniable, light. A light they seemingly acquired on this journey they’re illustrating but…wait. What?

What do you mean, the only way out is through?

Yeats said, “If suffering brings wisdom, I would wish to be less wise.”

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Promising Young Woman is a Revenge Movie, But It’s Also a Tragedy

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By Abby Olcese
Originally published on thepitchkc.com

Forgiveness is a tricky thing. In the church, I was taught that we’re supposed to forgive the people who do us wrong. Simple enough in Sunday school—you take my cookie, I might get mad, but it’s not a huge deal.

I can forgive you. I’m still a Christian, and I still believe in forgiveness.

As I’ve gotten older, however, I’ve come to understand that it looks different when the transgression is more complicated than taking my Oreo during snack time. 

In Christianity, asking God for forgiveness comes with the understanding that you’re not going to blindly commit the same sin again. When we forgive others, the same sense of grace is present. We forgive not to diminish the fact we were hurt—wrong is still wrong—but because we’re hoping the person we forgive understands the consequences of their actions, and is sorry. It’s a healing process that’s meant to go both ways.

Emerald Fennell’s Promising Young Woman is an exploration of what can happen to a victimized person when there is no atonement.

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SOUP: Let’s Not Have the Same Holiday, Again.

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By Jen Harris

Let’s Not have the same holiday, again.

I look up from the 2020 survival trek and oh, it’s that time again. No, not my period. Christmas. I’m talking about Christmas. I’m surprised to smell apple cider and hear holiday music. Are we really celebrating this year, after everything that’s happened? It feels remarkably disrespectful to healthcare and essential workers, the dead, the dying, and those isolated in the purgatory of uncertainty to be glutenous after such a disparaging year, but it appears there are those who are going forward with holiday plans under the guise of being grateful for what remains.

It’s the holiday season (holiday season) // Whoop-dee-doo (Whoop-dee-doo)

Or at least, I think those are the words. Nonetheless, that’s my overall vibe about this year’s holidays. I struggle with holidays. It’s been my experience that many of us struggle with holidays, especially within the queer community.

Look, I’m not trying to exclude anyone, I’m just saying, when it comes to queers and holidays, any holiday, MOST holidays: it’s loaded. Proceed with caution.  

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SOUP: Queer Pain, Queer Resilience

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By Jen Harris

Forever a trigger warning re: sexual and physical assault

I need to write about how hard it has been for me to be Queer.

The trauma of my Midwest queer experience rattles in me, generational and cellular. I am devastated by the danger I placed myself in in order to feel safe. How many nights did I drive shitty cars and shitty people around, trying to find an exit or a safe parking lot or enough change for a motel room? How many cigarettes have I smoked and how many lies have I told? How much survival sex did I have with women who wouldn’t acknowledge me during the day, but filled me full of food and drugs at night? How many scraps did I accept in place of true meaning and connection? At what point did I lose touch with my worth? Did I ever know it to begin with? Is it something you nurture or is it inherent? Is it something you believe in? Is it annual or perennial? How much sunlight and water does it need? How long can it live in the tundra before damaged, irreparable?

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Trans Folx + Orgs You Should Support this Trans Day of Remembrance

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By Kelcie McKenney, Emily Park

On the last day of Transgender Awareness Week, we remember the trans lives who have been victims of transphobic violence. 2020 is the deadliest year on record for Transgender lives. Close to home, Nina Pop was killed in her Sikeston, Missouri, apartment in May. 

Know their names. Say their names. 

Today, Elle shared this comprehensive list of the names we must remember. But while we mourn and memorialize these trans lives, we wanted to remind you that support for trans lives doesn’t start after we’ve wrongly lost them. We need to support our transgender community now. So we put together this quick-list of trans folx and organizations to support right now. We know this list is nowhere near comprehensive or complete, so tell us the trans folx in you’re life who you’re supporting today and always.

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