By Hannah Strader
Art by Kelcie McKenney & Maddy Best

Let’s get one thing straight: I don’t believe in billionaires.

You don’t become a billionaire without having been under-generous to the people who have worked menial jobs even harder and for less income. Has she paid unprecedented bonuses to her staff? Absolutely. Has she boosted local economies and brought smiles to the faces of children? Also yes.

Has she inherited millions of dollars in blood money from emerald mining, exploded rockets in the sky that impact local neighborhoods, planned a $68.3 million dollar “fair” using taxpayer money, implemented AI to lower literacy rates, or constructed data centers across the nation that are causing skyrocketing electricity bills and non-potable water for everyday Americans? 

… Or did she shut down a street on a busy weekend at a location that is one of a handful with tight enough security measures to ensure safety? A venue location with automated cooling systems she could not control, backed by generators (admittedly burning fossil fuels, but so do power plants), and strategically done on a weekend when New Yorkers flee the city to enjoy a hot dog by the lake (according to locals on Reddit, anyway).

The same weekend saw white nationalists marching en masse in the streets of D.C. and ICE ramping up its operations to arrest an average of 2,000+ people a day without due process. Did we hear about this? Or did we have to go searching for it because the news channels shifted their coverage to the “royal wedding” and its excess (The New York Times dedicated 12 reporters)?

Why is Taylor Swift what we’re focusing on instead of the continued reluctance of our own elected officials to hand over documents concerning a child abuse and sex trafficking ring, an operation that those same officials are making their money on? Is she really that bad, or is this about internalized misogyny?

I repeat: there are no ethical billionaires. However, if we are upset that just anyone is being targeted by ICE as opposed to a criminal who has a proven history of violence, we have to hold that same energy for billionaires causing the downfall of our nation.

“This is whataboutism!” I hear. “Both things can be true!” Correct, but here’s something to think about: when we’re at work, we have so many things that have to get done… but we all know to prioritize the most pressing ones first. Same philosophy applies.

No, I am not a die-hard Swiftie. I reluctantly enjoy the music (do not talk to me about the last album, THAT was tacky). I think she leaches natural resources through overuse of private flights and the sixteen different versions of one (1) album or single she releases on vinyl. I think she can be a mean girl in the act of fighting for herself (i.e. Olivia Rodrigo, a girl who was the same age that Taylor was when she was “fighting to prove herself”). She actively blocks other artists from entering the charts and instead chooses to uplift her closest friends as opposed to new musicians who could use the mentorship. Her dad is a little unhinged, and she idolizes him, which is definitely concerning. She can be extremely tone deaf.

I felt more shocked at the level of tone-deafness someone had in a post reading, “Bezos’ wedding was gross, but at least it wasn’t tacky.” Someone is choosing to give more credit to a man who won’t allow his factory workers to take a bathroom break because he has “nicer taste” for his even more wasteful wedding. Think about that. 

We’re living in a reality where we see our neighbors being harassed by men in uniforms who are unafraid to shoot anyone who gets in their way. We search up the Met Gala red carpet looks despite knowing their outfits cost more than we will ever make in our lifetimes, and many of them feature stolen artifacts. Families are being pushed off ancestral land in favor of corporations like SpaceX or Meta. We’re depleting drinkable water and accelerating the demise of our global environment so we can ask a robot to generate a picture of a monkey on a unicycle.

It’s time to ask ourselves where our priorities lie and examine why that is. Is a celebrity who had a private wedding really what we want to hone our anger on, or is there a more productive and helpful way to channel that annoyance? We have limited energy, and Taylor Swift’s wedding is a waste of mine. I believe it’s probably a waste of yours too.

Eat the rich, but Zuckerburg is the appetizer, Musk is the entree, Bezos is the side dish, and Trump is an entire breakfast and lunch. Taylor might be a pecan on an ice cream sundae for dessert, but I rarely have room for dessert.

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