By Kelcie McKenney
Have you heard about the Orgasm Gap?
Forty percent of straight women don’t reach orgasm during sex, while 95 percent of straight men reach orgasm in every sexual encounter. As if dealing with the glass ceiling wasn’t enough, women in heterosexual relationships aren’t coming enough. And everyone deserves a big orgasm these days.
In honor of today’s International Female Orgasm Day, PornHub is giving men a taste of the Orgasm Gap. All of today, Pornhub is interrupting videos most popular with straight men at the 40 percent mark with a quick video about how women in hetero relationships aren’t getting the pleasure they deserve.
Ok, go off PornHub, we see you.
The Orgasm Gap is no new issues, though, and misinformation still exists around the clitoris, female ejaculation, and vaginal orgasms. In 2009, only 11 years ago, 3D sonography showed the makeup of the internal clitoris. This sonography proved that all orgasms, even penetrative orgasms, were due to clitoral stimulation—eliminating once and for all the idea that vaginal and clitoral orgasms were different. The clitoris is wonderful, is what we’re getting at.
In 2018, Gabrielle Alexa wrote “Why Aren’t Women Orgasming as Much as Men? Let’s Talk the Orgasm Gap” for Catcall and the I Am Woman Project. Give it a read to learn more about how women not orgasming is, well, hurting women.
“Of course, no amount of education on the female body can offset the fact that we culturally do not prioritize the female orgasm. Heterosexual sex seemingly imitates the structure of pornography, which captures an orgasm gap as well. Women either don’t orgasm, or their orgasm is ambiguous, meaning we can’t even be sure that it happened. Men on the other hand always close the show by ejaculating somewhere that may or may not make cleanup inconvenient—the infamous money shot. If women’s orgasms are equally as important, which they are, sex should end when both partners have finished, not primarily after the man has. This is truly the key to bridging the orgasm gap,” says Alexa.
For Alexa, and for myself, the key to getting more women to orgasm is communication. Openly talk to your partner about what you want and need to reach climax, throw out the idea that sex ends when a man finishes, and be candid with your partner when you’re not reaching climax—and when you are.
PornHub offers a kitschy answer for that one. Certify an Orgasm Giver lets you reward someone who has given you an orgasm. It’s cheesy as fuck, but it’s one way to loudly talk about the Orgasm Gap. And you could, oh, I don’t know, do what I did and post it on your partner’s Facebook wall.
So here’s to female orgasms. Go get one—or give one—today.
Kelcie McKenney is a writer, editor, and artist who is passionate about feminism. She currently works as Strategy Director at The Pitch , where she writes and edits for Kansas City’s alternative magazine. You can find Kelcie on Instagram with #kcdaddy, where she talks about her three-legged cat Luna, thrift finds, and ways to overthrow the patriarchy.