Mourning and moving on after cutting off an abusive parent.

By Ashley Carey
Art by Maddy Best

CW: Mention of domestic abuse by a parent and childhood trauma.

This is for every person whose parent(s) did not love them in a way a parent is supposed to. For those of you who had a “parent” who was a charming narcissist or abuser or just plain toxic, I see you. And you deserve a life filled only with the people who can appreciate all that you are.

It’s a deeply strange experience to grieve the living. Much like any other form of grief, it’s also quite lonely, though in a profoundly different way.

So much has been written and understood about grieving those we’ve loved and lost. It’s certainly not an easy thing to do, which is why I believe so many people avoid grieving once the funeral dies down (woof that pun was terrible. I’m kind of a walking dad joke despite not having a dad. SICK BURN, DAD).

Grieving someone who is alive is super weird, and mercifully is something many people don’t seem to understand.

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